We all have fear – whether it’s a fear of being rejected, public speaking, asserting ourselves, failure, success, getting older, being alone, the unknown…
…yep, this life provides us with an infinite number of reasons to make you want to crawl under a rock and never emerge. We have all experienced fear at some point, yet we differ in the way we deal with it. For some, it’s paralysing, and for others…well, they take action regardless.
I’ve talked a lot about overcoming fear and getting out of your comfort zone on this podcast. And I LOVE hearing different perspectives on fear, which is why I was so excited to read Susan Jeffers’ book ‘Feel The Fear…And Do It Anyway’ (not an affiliate link). My sister lent me her copy, and I devoured it in a whole weekend.
In this week’s podcast, I share some of the concepts in this book. I’m hoping it will give you a deeper understanding of what fear looks like, and some truths about fear that will help you to see it in a different light. Summary is below:
5 Truths About Fear from ‘Feel The Fear…And Do It Anyway’
1. The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow
Challenge is healthy. Fred Devito said: “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.”
When you push through one comfort barrier, there is simply another one beyond that. My fear doesn’t go away because I keep challenging myself to do bigger and scarier things!
2. The only way to get rid of the fear is to go out and do it
So many people say “When I am _____, THEN I’ll be able to ____ . ” This is backwards! When will you actually feel ‘ready’? Probably never. And you probably won’t realise you’re actually ready until you do the thing you fear!
3. The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and do it
I recently did The 100 Minute Challenge (Insta @the100minutechallenge), where you workout for 100 minutes and the goal is to burn 1000 calories. It’s tough. I invited a friend of mine along, and he replied with:
I like it in theory……I’m just not as extroverted about my collapsing in an exhausted heap as you are. I admire your enthusiasm/gusto. I plan to smash myself (work out) incognito until I’m an absolute specimen….
Here is an example of someone who is waiting to feel good about himself BEFORE doing the thing that scares him. Now, what if he had come to the group training, been around really supportive people, and maybe achieved something he didn’t think he could do? He could have realised he was fitter and in better shape than he thought!
4. Not only will you experience fear when you’re on unfamiliar territory, so will everyone else
You know how people say: ‘That spider is just as afraid of you as you are of it’? It’s the same with people. I’ve been backstage with other speakers at conferences, some who are extremely well experienced, and even they say to me: “I’m not sure about this audience…they seem really tough…I hope I do ok…I’m nervous my slides aren’t going to work…I’m going to run out out of time…”
And I’m shocked! It helps when you know that everyone is going through their own stuff, their own fears. Having empathy for others helps a lot.
5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness
If you don’t take risks and do everything in your power to stay safe, you will continue to live with a feeling of dread that your day of reckoning will come!
For example, if you are in a job that requires you to assert yourself and share your ideas in order to progress, but you DON’T…yes, you get to stay safe in your little bubble, BUT, you will always have that feeling of helplessness that IF one day you are thrown into a situation outside of your control, you won’t be able to handle it.
Susan Jeffers goes on to share a number of ways you can, as the title suggests, feel the fear and do it anyway. So definitely check out the book!
If you are feeling fear and anxiety around speaking up at work, putting your hand up for opportunities, giving presentations, leading and facilitating meetings, and you know it’s holding you back from progressing in your career — then I invite you to reach out to me. We can meet up in person, or jump on a call, to look at your goals and challenges, and explore if one of my group coaching or 1:1 programs is a fit for you.
I specialise in helping intelligent, driven professionals like you to have more confidence, influence and impact in the workplace through cultivating a success mindset and building strong communication skills. And a big part of that is overcoming your limited self beliefs and pushing through your fears, which is something I love supporting and guiding people through. I look forward to speaking with you!