Want to be successful in life?
You’ve gotta learn to master your emotions.
Yes, really. Think about it – a lot of success comes down to simply taking action on things. But it’s hard to do that when your own shitty fears and insecurities are holding you back.
Hence, I am SUPER excited to share this episode with you.
I just spent an incredible weekend in Perth at ‘Self Mastery’, a workshop by Young and Wildly Successful, a company that helps you ‘live life on your own terms’.
Over an intensive 3 days, myself and 34 other young people learned how to master our emotions, overcome barriers holding us back and become, well, young and wildly successful!
The founder of YWS, Calvin Coyles, is a force to be reckoned with. I’m actually interning with YWS and it’s been incredible learning from Calvin and his team.
I’m still trying to process everything I learned over the 3 days, but I’ve picked 5 lessons and am sharing them with you on the podcast this week. I hope you enjoy!
5 Mind-Hacking Ways to Master Your Emotions (with thanks to Calvin Coyles)
1. Success leaves clues
Give each area of your life a score out of 10. Areas could include: health, family, social/friends, financial, personal growth, relationship, hobbies/fun, etc. In the area that ranks the highest, write down all the things you do that make you successful in that area. These are ‘clues’ to your success. Then map those across to the areas that require the most amount of growth.
If that’s tricky, find someone who IS successful in your areas of growth, and find out how THEY do it.
Reframing is a really good way to help shift negative attitudes. If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated or simply responding negatively to something, do a reframe and think of it in a different way.
For example, you might think: “He never calls me! Doesn’t he care about me?” a reframe could be: “Isn’t it great that he gives me space?” or “I hate being stuck in traffic” you could reframe it as: “Isn’t it great I get extra time to have a good conversation with my partner, while we’re stuck in traffic!”
3. Hack your way to better focus
Our brains are more active at slightly lower temperatures. You know when it’s really warm you just want to sleep? Well, to stay focused, do the opposite and make the room really cold. I’ve also found that making myself slightly uncomfortable by working at a standing desk helps to keep me focused. I can’t slump or be mindless – I just think: “Just get this work done then you can go sit down!”
4. Be at cause, not effect
When you’re at effect, you go through life with things happening TO you. You have the attitude: “It’s outside my control” or “I have the worst luck”. This is NOT a useful attitude. You’re essentially going through life totally powerless, constantly reacting to things, making excuse after excuse as to why you can’t do something or why you’re not achieving anything. On the other hand, when you’re at CAUSE, YOU control things in your universe. You MAKE things happen. I challenge you to be the master of your own universe – and be at cause, not at effect.
5. Divorce the story, marry the truth
Our actions (or inaction) is often determined by the stories we tell ourselves, or stories we’ve been told by others. For example, “You have to go to university to be successful” is a story that isn’t necessarily true. “I must have a coffee to be productive” is another.
So think about what story are you telling yourself? And how much truth is there to it? You may find that the story is actually holding you back from achieving the things you really want. Once you uncover the story – divorce that sucker, and marry the truth.
Massive thank you to Calvin, Jason, David and Sue for an amazing weekend – keep up the great work! And to the awesome Self Mastery peeps in Perth – you guys rock and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have met and hung out with you all 🙂 Big hugs!